Repairing a Broken Heart

Guy Winch, the author of books like 'The Squeaky Wheel,' Emotional Aid,' and 'How to Fix a Broken Heart,' delivered a talk on emotional pain for TED.

He begins his talk by saying, "at some point of our lives, every one of us will have our heart broken." He goes on to say that one of his patients had begun planning her wedding when she was in middle school, however her expectations didn't meet reality, and unforeseen medical circumstances caused her take a break from the dating scene. Once she had recovered, she met a man that she fell in love with, however he ended up breaking up with her, on the night that she was expecting him to propose to her. Months later, she found herself still thinking about him, with her heart completely in pieces.

Going off of this example, Winch explains the emotional pain that's associated with heart break, and how people can recover in more healthy and efficient ways. One of the most important aspects is to have a clear understanding of why things didn't work out. Another point that Winch speaks to is the need to accept that one is going through a kind of addiction withdrawal, and that they have to accept that it is over, rather than continuing to give themselves false hope. A large part of this is remembering the bad times, rather than just the all the good that the relationship brought.

By accepting that the match simply wasn't right, one can overcome the emotional pain that their heartbreak has brought. As heartbreak can be psychologically debilitating, it's important for those who go through one to remember their worth, and to understand how it is affecting other parts of their life. As Winch states, it's important to overcome this by filling the voids in one's life in a healthy manner, which helps them to stay present in their lives, and remain close with their friends and family.

Although heartbreak is still difficult to overcome, Winch reminds his audience to have patience, accept their struggle, and to have faith that they will heal.